In the wake of all the groping allegations and denials, the thing that strikes me most is how hard liberals are working to make it something other than what it is, or to suggest that because the accuser has stated she is not pursuing it, that the conversation is over.
I've been writing here since 2005 when the AdScam scandal was fresh. I've written about literally dozens of incidents and issues, and there are many, many that I took a pass on. Quite often, if I found my preferred party lacking or in the wrong, I didn't bother writing about it because I figured the other side would probably skewer them anyway, why add my voice to the chorus? But looking back, I think I can honestly say that I never tried to justify or rationalize bad behaviour in Conservatives simply because they were my preferred team.
If you look back in my archives, I've chastised the Conservative Party of Canada or the PC Party of Ontario when I believe they're not living up to their obligations to the voter or to citizens. I've defended the Liberal Party, even Justin Trudeau (someone I've always felt was pretty vapid) when I believed they were doing the right things.
You cannot live by the *my guy, right or wrong* mantra. You have to have principles. If your preferred party fails to live up to them, call them out or ... if you can't bring yourself to do that... at least don't try to justify.
Justin Trudeau's personal failure is he sees the world from an infantile point of view. Everything is about him... his socks, his gymnastics, his costumes -- always performing. And like all children, he likes to get his way and sees things in black and white terms. He calls for diversity, but in the Taste of the Danforth, Caribana, Pride, Caravan sort of way -- the colourful, tasty, performative type of diversity. When it comes to thought diversity, he's pretty shallow --- even before he became Prime Minister he made it clear that his point of view on anything was the only one which would be tolerated within the party. He alone set the tone for gender parity and for activist feminism and now, when faced with the cold truth -- that he's human -- that he messed up -- he's ill-equipped to deal with it. Instead of doing the grown up thing and acknowledging his ill-manners, his rude apology and his over-zealous condemnation of men in similar situations, instead he has given us a group hug and claims to be the guru of our feminist awakening.
So immature -- but so expected of this man-child. The saddest part is the people who are letting him away with it. His female MPs are *proud* of his denials and condescension. It's hard to see people we admire or like do the wrong thing. It's harder still to call them out on it when they do. But in my opinion, it's better to stay silent than to become one of the sycophants or enablers.
What does this say to new Canadians, learning about our gender values? What does this say to our young men, learning to maneuver in the complicated world of flirting/dating/pairing in this generation of heightened sensitivities between the sexes?
I can't think of anything more detrimental to the cause of women's autonomy and equality, than having a self-proclaimed feminist shrugging and saying -- it's all in how you think about it, while a bunch of high profile women nod and applaud.
canadianna
Showing posts with label feminist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminist. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
Sunday, July 08, 2018
Intention - Reaction - Result
Consultant Julie Lalonde suggests on Twitter:
In an interview with CBC's The House, Ms Lalonde says (to paraphrase) she approves of Justin Trudeau's statements regarding the incident, because by giving the space between intent and impact, he has acknowledged that people can experience things in ways that were not intended and that's an important aspect of this conversation.
And I totally agree. There are lots of times when people offend without meaning to. All of us have said and done things that were taken in a manner that was unexpected and perhaps the negative reaction of the other person has caught us off guard.
But Justin Trudeau created more than *space*... he created doubt. Everything he said and how he said it rang of denial. "I'm confident I did nothing wrong" is a denial. Adding afterwards that the woman is entitled to her own version of events is hardly a validation of her feelings, it's a dismissal them. It's minimizing the *impact* and magnifying the *intent*. It goes to self-preservation, not self-reflection.
No doubt Ms. Lalonde's seminars were intended to have people reflect on their actions. Justin Trudeau has done that, and found himself faultless. The only explanation when the accused says: "I am confident I have done nothing inappropriate" is that either the accuser is lying or delusional. He has left no room for the possibility he might have done something inappropriate. He is confident he did not. Therefore, it is not his memory or his actions that are suspect, but the woman's perception.
On Twitter, Ms. Lalonde suggests that the media and pundits pushed the woman to relinquish her request for privacy and come forward with a statement.
How does she not see the PMO's initial statement that the PM *recalled no negative interactions that day* as being the main factor that has kept this issue at the fore these several weeks?
How does she not see that the Prime Minister's responses to questions have been so tone-deaf, so insulting and demeaning to the *impact* the event had on the woman, that those responses have fanned the current firestorm around the issue?
Justin Trudeau is to blame for the woman having to come forward to make a statement.
Despite contacting her to verify, as is their job, media respected her privacy and did not report her name.
The media received corroboration of the woman's version of events from the two editors she reported the incident to at the time.
The media was in no doubt the incident happened, naming her or interviewing her were not important anymore. What finally drew her out into the public was Justin Trudeau's repeated denials (I am confident I did not act inappropriately) (even after the editorial came out, I did not know to what she was referring) and his *ifpology* (variously admitting to apologizing and then qualifying it - If I apologized, it would have been because I knew she was uncomfortable -- even though he wasn't sure why).
Only after Justin Trudeau put doubt to her word, did the woman feel the need to make a statement to defend her honour and integrity in having reported the incident at all. It is Justin Trudeau who disrespected the woman initially, and through his words, goaded her into the spotlight.
The media did their job -- their questions to him were never about her. They were about the double standard he is applying to himself as opposed to the members of his party who have been brutally disciplined for lesser issues. He's barely been asked what he did or what he remembers about the incident at all.... he's been asked about his handling of it since it resurfaced... and he has reflected on himself and come up pristine.
The blame in all of this needs to be put where it belongs. Not with Warren Kinsella. Not with the media who picked up on it and asked questions. Not with the public as we try to square the Prime Minister's feminist rhetoric with his anti-woman actions. This all comes down to Justin Trudeau. Period. To suggest otherwise is to give him a pass on something that initially, was a minor issue that might have gone away if he'd accepted responsibility.
Having listened to Ms. Lalonde on The House, I suspect that she cannot put the blame on Mr. Trudeau, because he was simply parroting platitudes from her seminar. We know he has trouble thinking for himself, but he can memorize a line. Her interview contained a lot of the stock phrases he's been coming out with. I don't believe Ms. Lalonde's intent was ever to minimize the impact of any incident on the woman, but rather to enlighten men that they must be careful how they interact with women in order not to be perceived in an inappropriate way. Instead, Mr. Trudeau has taken it as a means to vindicate himself and imply over-reaction on the part of the woman. Not Ms. Lalonde's intent, but the impact is disrespectful to the woman, and the consequence is that she was forced to come forward again to defend her original statement.
Perhaps the people excusing the PM and blaming the media have forgotten that the editorial wasn't a response to being groped, but to being disrespected. It was written on the heels of the sketchy *ifpology*. It's intent was not to expose him for *handling* her, but to expose his lack of manners in the way he apologized, given the privilege of his upbringing.
Everything the Prime Minister has said on this issue from June onward has been a continuation of the contempt and disrespect he showed this woman eighteen years ago. Blame the media for pursuing the issue if you want, but it could have been over with the words, *I concede I might have done something that could be taken as inappropriate, and I'm sorry*. Instead, all we hear is that he's confident he did nothing wrong. When the media told him she had no desire to speak about the issue again, he felt sure he could say whatever he wanted. His statements practically dared her to come forward to set the record straight.
THAT is what's setting women back.
canadianna
The woman in question does not identify as a victim, did not call it sexual assault and wanted to be left alone.
The media and partisan pundits hounded her, gave away private info and forced her to go public.
That is what is setting women back.All due respect for her expertise as an activist and public educator, I disagree.
In an interview with CBC's The House, Ms Lalonde says (to paraphrase) she approves of Justin Trudeau's statements regarding the incident, because by giving the space between intent and impact, he has acknowledged that people can experience things in ways that were not intended and that's an important aspect of this conversation.
And I totally agree. There are lots of times when people offend without meaning to. All of us have said and done things that were taken in a manner that was unexpected and perhaps the negative reaction of the other person has caught us off guard.
But Justin Trudeau created more than *space*... he created doubt. Everything he said and how he said it rang of denial. "I'm confident I did nothing wrong" is a denial. Adding afterwards that the woman is entitled to her own version of events is hardly a validation of her feelings, it's a dismissal them. It's minimizing the *impact* and magnifying the *intent*. It goes to self-preservation, not self-reflection.
No doubt Ms. Lalonde's seminars were intended to have people reflect on their actions. Justin Trudeau has done that, and found himself faultless. The only explanation when the accused says: "I am confident I have done nothing inappropriate" is that either the accuser is lying or delusional. He has left no room for the possibility he might have done something inappropriate. He is confident he did not. Therefore, it is not his memory or his actions that are suspect, but the woman's perception.
On Twitter, Ms. Lalonde suggests that the media and pundits pushed the woman to relinquish her request for privacy and come forward with a statement.
How does she not see the PMO's initial statement that the PM *recalled no negative interactions that day* as being the main factor that has kept this issue at the fore these several weeks?
How does she not see that the Prime Minister's responses to questions have been so tone-deaf, so insulting and demeaning to the *impact* the event had on the woman, that those responses have fanned the current firestorm around the issue?
Justin Trudeau is to blame for the woman having to come forward to make a statement.
Despite contacting her to verify, as is their job, media respected her privacy and did not report her name.
The media received corroboration of the woman's version of events from the two editors she reported the incident to at the time.
The media was in no doubt the incident happened, naming her or interviewing her were not important anymore. What finally drew her out into the public was Justin Trudeau's repeated denials (I am confident I did not act inappropriately) (even after the editorial came out, I did not know to what she was referring) and his *ifpology* (variously admitting to apologizing and then qualifying it - If I apologized, it would have been because I knew she was uncomfortable -- even though he wasn't sure why).
Only after Justin Trudeau put doubt to her word, did the woman feel the need to make a statement to defend her honour and integrity in having reported the incident at all. It is Justin Trudeau who disrespected the woman initially, and through his words, goaded her into the spotlight.
The media did their job -- their questions to him were never about her. They were about the double standard he is applying to himself as opposed to the members of his party who have been brutally disciplined for lesser issues. He's barely been asked what he did or what he remembers about the incident at all.... he's been asked about his handling of it since it resurfaced... and he has reflected on himself and come up pristine.
The blame in all of this needs to be put where it belongs. Not with Warren Kinsella. Not with the media who picked up on it and asked questions. Not with the public as we try to square the Prime Minister's feminist rhetoric with his anti-woman actions. This all comes down to Justin Trudeau. Period. To suggest otherwise is to give him a pass on something that initially, was a minor issue that might have gone away if he'd accepted responsibility.
Having listened to Ms. Lalonde on The House, I suspect that she cannot put the blame on Mr. Trudeau, because he was simply parroting platitudes from her seminar. We know he has trouble thinking for himself, but he can memorize a line. Her interview contained a lot of the stock phrases he's been coming out with. I don't believe Ms. Lalonde's intent was ever to minimize the impact of any incident on the woman, but rather to enlighten men that they must be careful how they interact with women in order not to be perceived in an inappropriate way. Instead, Mr. Trudeau has taken it as a means to vindicate himself and imply over-reaction on the part of the woman. Not Ms. Lalonde's intent, but the impact is disrespectful to the woman, and the consequence is that she was forced to come forward again to defend her original statement.
Perhaps the people excusing the PM and blaming the media have forgotten that the editorial wasn't a response to being groped, but to being disrespected. It was written on the heels of the sketchy *ifpology*. It's intent was not to expose him for *handling* her, but to expose his lack of manners in the way he apologized, given the privilege of his upbringing.
Everything the Prime Minister has said on this issue from June onward has been a continuation of the contempt and disrespect he showed this woman eighteen years ago. Blame the media for pursuing the issue if you want, but it could have been over with the words, *I concede I might have done something that could be taken as inappropriate, and I'm sorry*. Instead, all we hear is that he's confident he did nothing wrong. When the media told him she had no desire to speak about the issue again, he felt sure he could say whatever he wanted. His statements practically dared her to come forward to set the record straight.
THAT is what's setting women back.
canadianna
Friday, July 06, 2018
Justin Trudeau's feminist credentials #upfordebate
So what we have learned about Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's brand of feminism is that, women take things differently from men, particularly in a professional context, and therefore, upon reflection, Mr. Trudeau is confident that the woman who accused him of groping/handling her eighteen years ago, is just, well, wrong.
But that's okay.
She's allowed to have her point of view and he's not going to speak for her on that.
So, young men of the #metoo generation, here is your takeaway from this, as brought to you by a leading feminist and the Prime Minister of Canada:
I could say, okay... you've learned, you get it, if Justin Trudeau had said:
I was young and drunk and I really don't remember. I know myself and I feel like I wouldn't have done anything to offend this woman, and obviously I wouldn't have if I'd realized it would offend her. I'm still not exactly sure what happened, but obviously it upset her enough that she brought it forward, therefore, I apologize unreservedly because whatever my feelings on the situation are, it was obviously a negative interaction for her. If I was not truly sorry then because I was not aware enough of how this might affect her, I have grown as a man, as a husband and a father, and I am truly sorry now that whatever my actions were, that they caused her to feel discomfort and disrespect. It is not the person I am now, and I would like to say that it is not the person I ever was, but I accept this woman's version of events as truth, and offer my sincerest apology. In the future, I will be more sensitive to both women and men, accusers and the accused. I have been short sighted and unfair in my rush to judge others. I apologize for this also.
As it stands, he's practically dared a woman who has asked for privacy to challenge him.
She said her piece 18 years ago. This is not someone coming out of the woodwork 18 years later and accusing when things are murky. This is someone who reported an incident immediately in a generation that was not yet woke to sexual harassment. She shouldn't have to come forward again, and if he'd have just have given the tiniest acknowledgement that he MIGHT have done something that could be perceived as untoward, I could accept it.
These are not the words or actions of a feminist in 2018.
canadianna
But that's okay.
She's allowed to have her point of view and he's not going to speak for her on that.
So, young men of the #metoo generation, here is your takeaway from this, as brought to you by a leading feminist and the Prime Minister of Canada:
You're going to do things that women are going to misinterpret, because, well, they see things differently. They think that if you wouldn't touch a guy in the same situation, then you shouldn't be touching them. I know... dramatic, right? But still.
Reflect on that. You'll probably come to the conclusion that you did nothing inappropriate because if you thought it was inappropriate, you wouldn't have done it, right? You are the arbiter of your truth. You know you're not that kind of guy. She might not be making it up, she's just misinterpreting your moves.
She might accuse you anyway. That's okay. Give the lady permission to feel how she feels, because well, you know women -- especially professional women (the other ones you can use situational judgment, but hey, if they're working when they say you did the deed, acknowledge that you maybe did or did not offend them, but that you're pretty sorry that you forgot to note their employment situation.) Let them know you're alright with them being wrong. You've thought about it, and it's okay.
In the end, just be aware... so long as you are confident you did nothing inappropriate (which of course you are, because you're not that kind of guy, right?) you're in the clear (if you're fortunate enough that the woman just wants to put it all behind her).
It's 2018. It's time we realized that men and women are different, view things differently and when there is a discrepancy of memory, so long as you are confident that she's just wrong, and you reflect on that, you'll be fine.
I could say, okay... you've learned, you get it, if Justin Trudeau had said:
I was young and drunk and I really don't remember. I know myself and I feel like I wouldn't have done anything to offend this woman, and obviously I wouldn't have if I'd realized it would offend her. I'm still not exactly sure what happened, but obviously it upset her enough that she brought it forward, therefore, I apologize unreservedly because whatever my feelings on the situation are, it was obviously a negative interaction for her. If I was not truly sorry then because I was not aware enough of how this might affect her, I have grown as a man, as a husband and a father, and I am truly sorry now that whatever my actions were, that they caused her to feel discomfort and disrespect. It is not the person I am now, and I would like to say that it is not the person I ever was, but I accept this woman's version of events as truth, and offer my sincerest apology. In the future, I will be more sensitive to both women and men, accusers and the accused. I have been short sighted and unfair in my rush to judge others. I apologize for this also.
As it stands, he's practically dared a woman who has asked for privacy to challenge him.
She said her piece 18 years ago. This is not someone coming out of the woodwork 18 years later and accusing when things are murky. This is someone who reported an incident immediately in a generation that was not yet woke to sexual harassment. She shouldn't have to come forward again, and if he'd have just have given the tiniest acknowledgement that he MIGHT have done something that could be perceived as untoward, I could accept it.
These are not the words or actions of a feminist in 2018.
canadianna
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)